A Most Sincere Patch
"The Great Pumpkin rises out of the pumpkin patch he finds to be the most sincere and flies thru the air to deliver toys to all the good little children of the world." -Linus Van Pelt
Greetings all you Halloweeners! (or maybe you prefer - All-Hallowed Evers). It has taken weeks of patch-to-patch searching and many a long and muddy tramp through some of the most inhospitable of squash fields - but I finally have found a patch-in-a-million that exceeds most of my expectations!
Now please understand, this was no random wander to a few supermarkets or vegetable stands, I have lead a thorough expedition (and might I say, and with all modesty, that scientific methods were used at all times - except lunch-time, as you might imagine) - but it was not all soft weather and glamour. There were definitely some fields I encountered during my quest that were not quite so inspiring - many of the patches were filled with pumpkins that would just lie there - I know! don't tell me, i'll tell you.
Others fields were much more active - I stumbled upon one that, at first blush, was quite amazing - pumpkins were flying all over the place! These wonderful cucurbitas would launch themselves from the ground in beautiful parabolic arcs - unfortunately, the finale was typical for a ballistic flight path (and no less destructive!). I'm sad to report, I later found the farmer had stooped to hiring local high school students to surreptitiously toss the pumpkins around the field (agricultural internships, indeed!) and flight was not an innate characteristic of that particular cultivar... most disappointing.
Still another field had them falling from the sky! It was really quite incredible! - the farmer told me something about cloud seeding (and I'd heard of that before so perhaps she was on to something...) There were two problems that I'm sure you've seen already - how do you go out and collect one without getting beaned and if one doesn't maintain a reasonable harvest, they will start to pile up something fierce! The farmer issued me an umbrella and sent me off.... (it's fine that I'm a relatively fast healer).
And then my quest was over - this patch has sincerity written all over it! When I stand out among them and a particular pumpkin comes to the perfect ripeness, it would break from its vine and rise ever so slowly... it was really quite peaceful! (and the best part is when one's choice is made - there is no bending-over required! what could be better?). I talked to the farmer, Jason, and he spoke of infusing the seeds with a very rare element called Upsadaisium just prior to planting. Jason told me that after a while the upsadaisium diffuses out and the pumpkins gradually make their way back to terra firma (but I have to admit that I only saw them on the rise). He wouldn't tell me the source of this strange material and I couldn't seem to find it in the Periodic Chart of the Elements - but never fear, dear reader, trust me to get to the bottom of this mystery as well....
Dear friends, Happy Halloween! You now know not to be alarmed at floating Jack-O-Lanterns (if you can catch one - save the seeds!) - however, if you see flying ones, look for the nearest high schooler... 'nuff said.
Let me say that this really is a delightful pumpkin patch and the farmer really is named Jason. I chatted with him and he graciously allowed me to wander his fields and take many many photos of his beautiful pumpkins as I held them at arms length! As I was doing all this, I met this lovely threesome and they asked the inevitable questions... I tried to explain and then asked if they would like to be in the picture - "OK! - what do we do?" my reply: "Just look up!" and they did!